Blakely has been keeping a secret for us that we want her to tell you in her own way. In the early morning of the day that she would pass away we put this shirt on her. She wore it proudly and she wore it well.
Blakely is the proud big sister to her little brother! On January 1, 2018, Emily and I found out that we were having another child. As you can imagine the news of having another child was received with a little bit of a freak out session (lol). We felt way, way, way over our heads. We had questions run through our minds like, “What if we don’t have a healthy child or what if we lose this baby or what if everything is completely fine but this baby is a pain in the butt?” So many questions and thoughts and doubts and joy and hope rushed through our minds over the following weeks.
A week after we found out that we were going to be a family of 4, Blakely was intubated in the hospital. Everything began to unhinge and our new member of the family was put into the back of our minds. We walked with Blakely as far as we could as a family. We walked her right up to the end. Blakely would die in the arms of her beloved mommy and right next to her beloved little brother. It brings me great comfort to know that he was right there with her. I like to think that as Blakely laid against Emily’s belly that our little guy reached out his hand to press against her body – I know that this is wishful thinking and somewhat fairy-tale-like thinking, but man, doesn’t that idea just make you smile and cry. I like this idea. But either way both Blakely and her little brother were together . We were for a moment in space, history and time a whole family. It was a rich time. It was a sacred time. A once in a lifetime experience.
So without further explanation, Blakely would like to introduce you to her beloved little brother
Welcome to the world my little man. There is much to learn and much to tell you. You are going to be part of a messy, broken and hurting family, but you are sign to us that God is still working. You are a sign that there is still work to be done. You are a sign that life still matters.
You inherit Blakely’s legacy, you inherit her story, you will walk where she has walked and you will be part of a world that she was part of. You will find her in the simple things – you will see her in the way your mommy and daddy look at you. You will feel her in the way your mommy and daddy hold you. You will know her presence as we tell her story and as we share our memories. You will feel her love when you see us cry when we share about her life, her hair, her beautiful face, her big yawns and her slow blinks. Little man, your sister loves you, your sister prays for you and your sister gives you the gift of having parents who are sweetly broken (lol) and a family who has learned to let go and who has learned to suffer and to live at the same time. Welcome dude! You belong and you are loved! You are my son and I love you always!
I am proud of my daughter and I am proud of my son. They are teaching me many things. They are teaching me that love looks like letting go more than holding on. They are teaching me that love is found in darkness and light and that love does not relent and that love cannot be held down in place but rather love is something to behold with no restraints. You guys (my son and daughter) are something to behold and may God do what he must and may God write his story.
Details about baby boy:
– Healthy baby!!!
– Emily is 23 weeks
– Due date is September 11th (of course!)
– He is a big fan of Lebron James
– He is ridiculously good looking
Please pray for us as we go through the pregnancy journey again. So many feelings and a lot of worries. Thank you and we love each of you!